An otter's pocket. Plus, typing the Bible on a toilet roll, bananas in a microwave, mystery crisps, snails in their eyes, robot babies, time-travelling Frenchmen, a dog in a wheelchair, and a tiger suckling Andrew Lloyd Webber. Also, Georgina rear-ends a stranger in Waitrose. Contains strong language.

Predicting the future with spring onions. Plus, Viagra for pot plants, alibi aftershave,  Princess Diana's ghost sighted in Glasgow, Morse code, sobbing grizzly bears, and Georgina sitting on a potty. Also, what does the Oval Office smell like? Contains strong language and adult themes.

Insects named after pop stars. Plus, half-timbered fish, dodgy penis enlargers, dating aliens, an ashtray shaped like half a woman, teeth cleaning with Tippex, special little hats for your ears, and a magnet on the end of a piece of string. Contains strong language.

Can a monkey catch a flamingo by the legs? Plus, remote control bidets, an orchestra without any instruments, and a tuna fish worth half a million pounds. Contains strong language.

Bumper 2012 New Year edition of Fat Chance. Panda nominated for Woman of the Year. Plus, intelligent slime, three ways to make toast, obscene iPhones, gambling apes, and a very big eye in sky.