A surprisingly long cucumber. Plus, woman burns pie, cabbages that sprout unexpected growths, dead flowers in the living room, and a bow tie wearing duck. Also, Brian's messy bathtime and a beauty contest for goldfish. This podcast may contain strong language.

Badly stuffed animals. Plus, a right Royal dog fight, lady garden gloves, mosaics made of cheese, mirror fasting, food bags that taste like the food inside them, puppy tweets, the extinction of the blobfish, glass toasters, Presidential broccoli and how long is a whale's poo? May contain strong language.

Gherkin disguised as a penguin. Plus, teaching fruit flies to count, 15th century underwired bras, no British beer at the Olympics, fun with an empty pill bottle, cavemen doing housework and a cow with its very own web site. May contain strong language.

Insects named after pop stars. Plus, half-timbered fish, dodgy penis enlargers, dating aliens, an ashtray shaped like half a woman, teeth cleaning with Tippex, special little hats for your ears, and a magnet on the end of a piece of string. Contains strong language.